Saturday, September 30, 2006
how??how??cuz i haven start studying..hehes..tmr i guess..``i gotta work on my Emaths..its getting bad..``brush up on Amaths,on easy topics..scorable``memorise sci..especially chemistry..phy:formula& concept``ss oso muz memorise..lit muz read book..``english ar..too bad..i'm lousy..mayb i can memorise e rules of grammer? n do more compre??hehes..lol..too much 2 do..but last lap le..so.............muz jia you la!!! to those who're oso taking 'o' lvls:lets jiayou together! musn't let down ourselves as well as our parents and teachers..not 4getting ur supportive frenz!!
7:32 PM
Thursday, September 28, 2006
i hate to noe the truth^
but i hav to accept it somehow``
but how??
let time just wash it away....
why am i being fooled time and time again??
wad hav i done 2 deserve this?
always,it has been my wishful thinking.................
yi xiang qing yuan``
i jus wish to be with someone my heart desires``
its not a sin,rite~
i don wish 2 let go..
but i hav to..........hope GOD bless mi,let mi find e true one.....................................................``
9:50 PM
Monday, September 25, 2006
i promise 2 start revising today de..but somehow, i don reali wish to start..i got my english,Amaths and ss results today la.. i got 53.1 for english,38.75 for Amaths,56 for ss..ya.....my FT cried today.. cuz this morning de assembly,all e sec4 teachers were called for a meeting..thn LKK ask abt e prelims, and ask if they need any help regarding anything for e sec4&5..thn some1 mention abt my class..thn all started 2 tok abt our class..our behaviour,our attitude,everything..thn 1 of them said tat our class got al0t of adsentees..and its onli 2 lo... ah tham nvr come cuz family issue..thn gob nvr come cuz he said he sprain his shoudler or sth.. thn e teachers say abt my whole class being bad..veri wad leh..how can they..so biased..or did they not noe my class onli got 23 ppl?? its so unfair.. other classes oso got problems wad..haix..well i'm gng 2 show wid results..though i'm not sure abt my aim now,but @ least i hav a few options to choose from..NAFA,lassalle,sp,or even gng oversea..i'm gng 2 show tat mayb my class can't show TAT gd results,but we still hav a place where we're accepted..in e world..not onli in s'pore..jus wait n c..signing off, i miss some1
3:03 PM
Saturday, September 23, 2006
i'm feeling sad..``real sad..wadz wrong.. going too deep into it?am i? relations r complicated...``haix...some1 might noe wad i'm toking abt..tt some1 only...................
3:51 PM
new hair style>.<
its ytd la..i went to supercuts..i actualli wanted 2 trim to make it grow better..but i decided 2 tke e person's opinion 2 hav a soft straight.. erm..i told e person i onli brought 130 la.. aga-aga..how would i noe how much 2 bring..lol.ya..thn e person make it 129.15 for me la.. e hair stylist is Tony.. thn i 1st timer mah.. so i 'gong' lo.. e steamer was real hot la! no play play de leh.. hahas..
thn go wash hair thn come back blow dry le thn they start to straighten my hair..thn muz put sth lyk moisturizer to make e shape fix all those la..thn wash hair again,blow dry,trim a little..and its done!
hhaas...
3:15 PM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
ytd jus finish my prelims..@ first tot today no need go skul..but sianss..still muz go..i got back my results today..some onli la..got E maths,phy and english compo..guess how i did?my physics,heng ar can pass..cuz didnt expect myself to pass de la..thn my Emaths was e most disappointing one.. my paper 1 expected will get tat mark..but paper 2 was TOO UNEXPECTED!!! i got 37 out of 100..hey this is no kidding man..i tot i knew how 2 do e paper..but too bad..there was 24 marks of careless mistake..wad a big cost for me to handle..i cried..i cant stand it..i reali put in my effort and i tot i could do quite well for paper 2..i wanna win fangying..big words,big confidence,i fell down quite hard..nvm..i told myself this is onli prelims..i still can work harder during this 1mth plus bah..i reali hope i can do well in my Emaths la..its always been my strength since primary skul norh..haix..tok abt english? worse.. my narrative got 10 out of 30..fail badly...my letter writing got 16 out of 30...jus pass..lucky ar..if not i'll kill myself..hahas..now feeling so down lo...lol..wish this will get beta by nxt wk lo..signing off..tata
2:53 PM
Sunday, September 17, 2006
sobx..its hurts!!!
guess wad..i'm finally out of my hse ytd..hahs..went to see phil winds de concert la..its @ singapore conference hall..so its obvious tt we'll go lau pak sat eat norh..tt aisyah ar..so long ar..we waited for her for 1.5 hrs leh..thn mi and azmi tok abt band stuffs lor..wad else..haix..abit disappointing to c my band mates not being united.. well tts y i'm gng back after my Os to help them to bring back e unity!!! go skyband! hehes..ya..thn we eat e satay la..no mrt,so hav to tke bus or taxi norh..thn cuz she wanna withdraw $$ thn i saw a OUB building thn i point it to her thn e path i walking is got Alot of holes de..so i accidentally fall down..1 of my leg drop inside e hole lo..hahs.. funny rite? lol..i can hear laughters..thn its so pain la..obvious tt there will be a super big "orh chey" on my leg.. sobx!!! no pretty le... hahahs...lol..nah..it will b alrite de,thn we tke taxi go home lo..thn whn walking hor..my left leg no strength..cuz got tt "orh chey"..-___-while i'm blogging,i heard my hse downstairs got ppl crying,lettin out fustrations..hmmm...lyk so pitiful leh..but aiya none of my business..thou its noisy la..wanna ask them shut up leh..aiyo tmr got Amaths paper2...sians..hope i can pass=( if not i'm reali dunu wad 2 do for O lvls le wor..thn as usual i'll slack till i happi today thn study..thn till tmr morning jus go skul tke exam,go home..orh orh..hahas!!! sayonara! signing off,i miss some1
3:19 PM
Friday, September 15, 2006
omg..still got 2 papers left,yes! well i reali hav to move on in life la..no use being sad..sad alrdy tat is u urself suffer..so be happi!!! yea! hahas... today my A maths paper i tink can jus pass onli..but my physics paper 4get it la..cuz i 4got some pts thn i lost alot of marks..if not i can score gd de..but still no use..cuz my chemistry paper didnt do well..i will sure flung my combine sci de lor..hahs..nvm la..my Amaths jus study more lo...can pass i veri happi le..=) my sci still got a paper thn sae bye to prelims!!! thn wait result lo..i reali wanna top for my Emaths cuz i noe i can do it..yes! i sure can! if i tell myself i can,thn i can.. i actualli can study de..is c i want anot..hehes >.<anyway,i got back e peace i want,i got a new fren 2 tok 2..this fren is gd...cuz he's not irritating..he'll ask if he's disturbing mi anot..thn i will sae no..if i'm busy he'll understand..thou he's abit pessimestic abt life and skul but its ok...i believe 1 day he'll live his life w/o regrets and live to e fullest!okie i gtg le wor! sayonara!signing off,i miss some1
3:10 PM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
depression??
hahas.. i've been suspectong myself of having depression..i did a test and found out, i reali hav it..but luckily is mild..this is wad e test says..
As a woman with anxiety and possibly secondary depression you probably find that you worry about yourself and others. You are a person who cares deeply about other people. You are very sensitive. You feel things intensely and take yourself and you emotions seriously. This is good unless it creates unrealistic expectations, anxious attitudes, hurt feelings, worry, fear, and body symptoms of anxiety and or depression. The good news is, if you are woman who is challenged with anxiety or depression, you are smart, creative, and a quick study. Once you learn how to help yourself, anything is possible.
Overrall Affectedness assesment
On the overall affectedness scale you fall into the moderate category. This means that your level of affectedness by anxiety and depression is not severe but strong enough to affect your life and your person on a regular basis. You are someone who tends to let things get to you. You are an over reactor and you are probably very emotional. You are sensitive and take things personally. You are a worrier and a "what-if" thinker. You might have a hard time being assertive, especially with certain people. You probably don't manage stress well. You may find that you wear yourself out with your thoughts. You beat yourself up and talk yourself down. No one, including you, can quite live up to your expectations. You have a busy, but tired mind. This type of thinking creates your anxiety and depression.
Depression assesment
You feel sad and melancholy at times and you can't always pin point a reason. You probably find you have less energy and sometimes it takes all your effort to get excited about anything. Sometimes the simplest activities, such as getting ready to go out, or sexual activity are just too much effort. You cry easily,you're emotionally sensitive, and you feel the pain of the world. You may have a hard time sleeping, either falling asleep, or staying asleep, or possibly you're sleeping too much. Possibly you aren't eating or you're overeating. You might find you get irritable and impatient. Possibly you feel bad about yourself and your life at times, and you feel like there aren't any answers.
Personality assesment
Expectations Category: (Moderate Score) At times you can be disappointed in yourself and others. You sometimes want people to know what you want without you having to tell them. At times, you can be someone who is hard to please. Depending on your mood and the situation, you can feel let down or disappointed with people, things or situations. You can be hard on yourself at times as well. This type of thinking can create anxiety, stress, and depression because you feel unhappy and dissatisfied with life, people and yourself at times.
Temper Category: (Mild Score) Anger is a learned behavior passed down from generation to generation. Luckily for you, this is not a generic trait you appear to have inherited. You probably do not overreact or take things too personally. You can control your emotions and you are fairly good at putting things into a healthy perspective. Out of control anger can create immense anxiety, stress and even feelings of depression. Anger can make a person feel out of control. Fortunately, you appear to have decent coping skills in dealing with this negative emotion.
Worry Category: (Moderate Score) Obsessive worry is at the root of all anxiety and depression. It is a very common symptom of anxiety and depression, and one of the most debilitating emotional challenges a person can experience. It robs a person of his or her happiness, makes it impossible to be in the present moment, and creates a litany of body symptoms. Worry is bad habit that becomes more intense with practice. The more you do it, the better you get it at it, and it becomes a negative addiction that can destroy your peace of mind. Somehow you think you are actually doing something about the problem if you allow yourself to worry about it. At times, you can worry obsessively. You are someone who, depending on the situation, can overreact about things and put yourself into the "what if" thinking cycle. This can create anxiety, depression, and stress. Learning how to control the bad habit of worry is key to overcoming problems with anxiety and depression.
Attitude Category: (Mild Score) Negative attitude is one personality trait that will certainly affect the outcome of your daily life experience, if not your entire life. You are a fairly positive person most of the time. This is wonderful because you tend to see the glass as half full. You tend to be optimistic most of the time. You occasionally find the down side of life but you can pull yourself out of a negative frame of mind fairly quickly. This will help you tremendously in dealing with anxiety, stress, and depression.
Control Category: (Mild Score) You are probably fairly balanced in most areas of your life. You are fairly comfortable giving up control and letting others absorb some of the responsibility. You might say you have an easygoing nature and you are somewhat comfortable with change. You are more flexible than most people and you don't feel the need to control others. You don't feel a strong need to control every single aspect of life. This is actually a very healthy attitude and could be beneficial in preventing extreme problems with anxiety and depression.
Emotions Category: (Moderate Score) Are you a sensitive person? Are you easily hurt, easily made to feel guilty, and in your opinion, often misunderstood? Do you take people's opinions or comments about you fairly seriously? Do you cry easily or are you easily moved by other people's pain? These are all symptoms of emotional sensitivity. This type of problem can make it difficult for a person to stand up for him or herself, and be assertive. It can make it difficult to handle criticism or even be honest in relationships. Emotional sensitivity creates anxiety and depression as a result of a person not being able to handle his or her feelings. This type of thinking can actually create symptoms of anxiety and depression and fuel the fire of emotional distress. To overcome problems with anxiety and depression you must learn how to be less sensitive and more sensible when deal with your emotions.
Anxiety Assesment
Agoraphobic Feelings Category: (Mild Score) You can be a worrier. Usually you don't avoid activities because of anxiety but you may think about the activity far in advance and anticipate whether or not it will make you anxious. You can take elevators or fly, for example, but at times it can make you anxious. You sometimes worry that it could get worse. You might be uncomfortable in enclosed spaces or when you feel like you can't come and go as you please. You might find it slightly uncomfortable to sit in one place for a long period of time such as a dentist chair, but you do it. Sometimes you feel nervous for no reason. In this mild form, you probably continue to function normally and do your usual activities without avoidance, but certain situations on occasion might be uncomfortable for you.
Social Situations Category: (Mild Score) You are concerned about other people's opinion of you. You are cautious to not put yourself in situations where you could be made to look fearful, insecure, unattractive, and foolish, etc. You can be are overly critical of yourself and think others will be critical of you as well. You might be a person who avoids performing in front of others. You might be someone who needs a bit of alcohol to relax enough to enjoy a social event. You may over react to negative comments or strange looks from other people and may take other people's opinions very personally. You might be someone who worries about getting sick in public, or you might have a sensitive stomach. It's not so much that you mind finding a bathroom; it is the possibility of embarrassment that makes you anxious.
General Anxiety Category: (Mild Score) At times you are mildly nervous or in a sensitized state. This means you can be sensitive to lights, loud sounds, and activity. You may feel wound up and stressed out. Things bother you. You may experience ongoing anxiety for no real apparent reason, which can be frustrating. You just feel a bit on edge. You possibly find you have mood swings and irritability. You may have a difficult time falling asleep or staying asleep. You tend to worry and sometimes have hard time relaxing.
Panic Category: (Mild Score) At times you experience feelings of panic and fear but not enough to keep you from living your life fully. You sometimes feel sudden surges of panic feelings which may be accompanied by body symptoms such as chest discomfort, difficulty breathing, a tingling sensation, or intense inner nervousness, and a strong urge to run to a safe place. This is a mild panic attack. Sometimes these feelings seem to come "Out of the blue" for no apparent reason. Other times they occur because of self-generated fear of a place or situation making you feel trapped, or anxious. Perhaps you feel that the place or situation takes away your control.i knew sth was wrong..but i didnt do anything.. i realise i'm eating not much,don reali hav appetite,will breakdown sometimes..feel lyk a mad person..i cant reali get into slp especially on those days i've nth to do..haix,perhaps i will jus let it pass...and see wad will happen..jus pray tat it wont get serious..cuz my cousin's depression was serious..she died..she commited suicide 2yrs ago..jump off a building..i reali hope mine was nth lyk hers..beta not be..i missed some1..signing off........
9:16 PM
wa..long time no blog le..sianz..haas..i'm laughing @ myself..thinking tat e relationship wld last..but it didnt..we jus broke off..o7o906..wanna noe wad happen?i'm putting all my moods on studying la..thn he keep saying he emo,sad,crying..its irritating to mi..somemore if a guy keep saying lyk tat, as a ger u will c him as a weak guy,irritating..rite? tat day was a thurs,i went for sws de main band prac la..but i intended to go till 930pm thn go home..if not my dad noe,he'll kill mi..i went there 2 get my disc from him and most importantly to see my friends whom i missed so much..whn i reach there,i saw a bouquet of flowers,sunflowers,a letter,and my disc..i was shocked. e 1st thing tt came 2 my mind was:how am i suppose to bring it home?lata my sis or bro keep asking who is it from? thn how?y he gif mi flowers?..i sae there's no need for flowers wad..he said he should gif de..thn he ask mi to read e letter..b4 tat,we promised each other to gif sth as a rememberance cuz he flying to manchester,UK on tis coming fri which is 15 sept.. i took my frens paperbag to put e stuffs la thn i went to toilet..cuz he ask mi to tok outside band room.but i don1..so i go hide inside toilet..cuz i don wanna see him...don feel lyk seeing him..don ask mi y am i feeling lyk tat..but i jus don wanna see him..thn my fren called mi,ask mi if i'm playing anot,thn i sae i'm not..thn somehow he noe where am i,he stood outside calling my name ..he noes i'm inside but i refused to go out and see him..until my fren jolin came to look for mi and she helped mi to escape from tat place to go home la..thn i jus went home..i read e letter whn i reach home and i saw a ring inside..i saw wad he wrote and i had no emotions tat time..i'm quite a emotional person but i was surprized myself tat i feel nth..perhaps ppl will sae me veri cruel,cold-blooded..but its ok..i think tat of myself too..he waited below my block de playground and i refuse to go down and see him..after sometime,and after my frens lead mi to my heart's ans,we broke up..i felt relieve..so relieved..but soon after i cried for 3 days.. every night my tears jus came down..perhaps i'm feeling guilty..i don want to relationship to restart.. so i guess its out of my guilty conscience tat i'd cried..well i guess its over..i jus need to wait till fri..after fri i no need to worry abt anything except my O lvls =) however,freedom will not be given even if i wait till fri..cuz there's another guy from swsy,my section,says he liked mi..OMG..whn can tis stop? i don wanna bother this kinda thing anymore lo..but i now,@ this moment,i'm gng to tell him:hey...i don lyk you,i reali wanna concentrate on my studies..so pls don come and bother mi le.." and this guy made mi cant breathe..no where to breathe..i don want him to be my stead oso..although he treat mi veri gd la..but i still cant treat him lyk stead...i cant imagine tat..i don want..i want freedom..though e feeling of lonliness is unbearable,i oso will wait for my ONE to appear..i jus some1 who is understanding,lots or care and concern for mi,gif mi freedom,non irritable person..of cuz i'm a typical singaporean so i would find those wid smooth complexion if available la..hahahs..i don wanna find those too skinny,nth to hug de..lolx..rofl..thinking too much..still having prelims leh..abt 2 mths thn having O lvls le..lol kk la..i gng to study for tmr paper le...signing off le.. babye..i missed some1..
7:39 PM
